Dating app profile poem. Posted here to get around character limits
With what I've seen of dating apps, From blank profiles, to those in CAPS, From hetroflexing Fs with Bs, To pan-sex chaps, who're triple Gs. For all those sexy shots of skins, Possible loves, potential sins, The things I lust for more than abs, Are the acronyms, and the new vocabs. There's demi-, poly, sapiophile, There're ghosting players with subtle guile, "No SWERFs, no TERFs" a pitch begins, "No juvenile DM-slide-ins". I've seen "Thirsty throuple seeking thicc". I've swiped "Just another enby chick". I've been flustered by an LG's smile. I've liked cis-het MILFs in "The Lifestyle". In all this luscious lingual throng, My poetic pitch does not seem strong. Though I'd love to oversell my dick, It's just average long and standard thick. Amid Daddy-Dom's of meaty girth, And Sugar-Dads flaunting networth, My weird approach could land all wrong, I'm not even sure that we'll get along. We might fail to flirt, or our vibe might suck, Or we'll share a joint and forget to fuck. But I'll offer this, for what it's worth, I may be a schmuck, but I ain't no TERF. So if it's an O-N-S with N-S-A, I'm D-T-F if you wanna play. But long N-R-E is more my truck, You as primal prey, me your horny Puck. Whether your polycule's all K-T-Ps, Or you're on the hunt for B-B-Cs, Just H-M-U or I-D-K, I aim to please, so just say g'day.
Couldn't shoehorn into poem: